What Is My Purpose?

(Excerpt from Jason C. Steinle’s book—Upload Experience: Quarterlife Solutions)

Jenny Fellner, a 24-year-old actress, has known since she was 4 years old that her purpose in life is entertaining audiences. I know because Jenny and I grew up together playing in the sandbox, riding our Big Wheels, jumping through the sprinkler, and even dressing up and acting out plays in my basement. From this improvised theater in my basement, Jenny pursued singing, violin, piano, and acting. “I fell in love with it instantly,” she recalls. “I never got tired of having to practice piano. I was never one of those kids where you had to tell me to practice. I loved it! My idea of fun growing up was learning new instruments, singing Annie, and taking voice lessons.” Jenny went on to play parts in high school and community productions before earning a degree in acting at the University of Northern Colorado.

Upon graduating, Jenny packed up her bags and waved goodbye to family, friends, and the wide open space of the Midwest, and moved to New York City to try her luck on Broadway. Like thousands of other young actors, appearing on Broadway was her life dream. But New York wasn’t kind to Jenny. “At first it was complete culture shock being in the big city where the pace is so much faster,” said Jenny. “I was working at the restaurant at night, coming home tired, and then auditioning during the day. It was so daunting.”

Jenny received rejection after rejection. Month after month she worked as a waitress and took temp jobs to survive. Doubting her skills and talent, Jenny felt frustrated, upset, and even depressed at times. Nonetheless, she persevered. She continued to audition again and again, always reminding herself that even for those 30 seconds of the audition she was getting a chance to do what she loved—singing, dancing, and performing for others. Jenny had no Plan B, no escape route. As she told me, “I have always known to the point exactly what I wanted to do. There was no other choice for me. There was no other option. Nothing else made me this happy. I just decided at whatever cost I had to be in New York, because this is where it happens. I would do whatever it took.”

Suddenly, after a year of struggle, Jenny’s life changed with one phone call. Her talent agent informed her that she’d been cast as the lead role in Mamma Mia, the current number one show on Broadway. “It was one of those really surreal, almost slow motion moments,” said Jenny. “I remember looking around the room and taking mental pictures of the way everything looked. My agent and I cried together, and then the first thing I did was call my mom.” Jenny had made it to the top! Since this breakthrough opportunity, she continues to enjoy and thrive on what she does because she is following her purpose.

The answer to the question “What is my purpose?” is perhaps the most important information you need as you head out into the real world. In my opinion, your purpose is the reason you’re alive on earth. Each of us has something we are specially equipped to accomplish. Whether or not you agree, there’s no denying that there are major benefits to figuring it out. Let me give you a sampling of the positive impact knowing your purpose can have on your life.

In 1960, Srully Blotnick began a study involving the careers of 1,500 business school graduates. For 20 years he tracked the careers of these graduates who were grouped into two categories. Category A consisted of people who said they wanted to make money first so that they could do what they really wanted to do later—after they had taken care of their financial concerns. On the other hand, those in Category B pursued their true interests first, sure that money eventually would follow. A total of 83 percent or 1,245 graduates comprised the “money now,” Category A; whereas only 17 percent or 255 fit into the “pursue true interests,” Category B.

In 1980, after 20 years had passed, there were a total of 101 millionaires from the graduating class. Interestingly, only one came from Category A. The remaining 100 millionaires were from Category B: those who pursued their own interests first. Srully concluded the study by saying, “The overwhelming majority of people who have become wealthy have become so thanks to work they found profoundly absorbing. Their ‘luck’ arose from the accidental dedication they had to an area they enjoyed.”

While one of the benefits of finding your purpose may be money, according to Marlys Hanson, a career consultant with over 25 years experience and author of Passion and Purpose, other benefits include heightened energy, improved health, inner fulfillment, greater job stability, rapid promotion through the ranks, and a willingness to put in that extra something that results in extraordinary accomplishments.

How do we find our purpose? In Missouri, the locals are having some problems with carp. These large fish are frightened so badly by approaching motorboats that they leap out of the water and have been flying into people’s boats. Can you imagine seeing a 15-pound fish jump into your boat? Several of these fish have hit people, knocking one man out and injuring one woman—true story! Like the fish jumping into the boat, most of us want our purpose to find us. We want to be trolling through life and suddenly have our purpose hit us upside the head! We want to be like Moses at the Burning Bush, where God, in no uncertain terms, tells us what we are supposed to do. For some, like my friend Jenny, it seems to work out that way. For others, myself included, there’s no moment of epiphany or eureka. So what can we regular folks do to discover our purpose? Simple. We look for it.

Ask questions. “What is my purpose?” “Why am I here?” Grab a friend, pad of paper, and a pen. Sit knee to knee and have your friend ask you the question “What do you want?” or “What is your purpose?” over and over again while looking you directly in the eyes and taking down your responses. After two minutes, you’ll switch roles and repeat the exercise for the other person.

Mark Victor Hansen, co-author of The One Minute Millionaire, says this is one of the most powerful techniques he’s found for helping people discover their purpose. “As you go through the exercise, pretty soon you get to your core essence,” Hansen told me. “It only takes two minutes, and I’ve had doctors say, ‘In all my education, 28 years, I never got that.’ Right! Because no one ever asks them! What do our parents do? They say, ‘My son the doctor or my daughter the lawyer.’ They lay all that stuff on you, and you never figure out what it is you want.”

I agree with Hansen. Beside the times you’ve ordered a pizza or decided if you wanted fries or a baked potato, have you ever stopped and asked yourself, “What do I want in life?”

Opportunity

It says in the Bible, “Ask and you shall receive; Seek, and ye shall find; Knock, and the door will be opened unto you.” This is precisely how you are going to discover your purpose in life—by asking.

Read through the steps below; then sit down with a friend and go through this method for discovering your purpose.

Find a quiet, comfortable location where you will not be interrupted.

Sit knee-to-knee with a friend.

Place a tape recorder beside you and start recording.

For two minutes one of you will ask the other the question, “What do you want?” and/or “What is your purpose?”

Once they reply, ask them the question again and again.

Resist your temptation to start a conversation or make comments on what they are saying. Instead, just keep focused on asking the question while looking into their eyes.

After two minutes have passed, switch roles and go through the exercise again for two minutes.

When you are finished, grab a pen and paper and listen to the tape. Write down all the things you said you wanted. Look for the common ideas and similar interests in your answers and see if you can find an underlying theme. This theme is your purpose.

When you complete this exercise, some of you still will not be clear on what your purpose is. That’s okay, the method is simple, but not easy. By asking the question you will have planted the seed for the desired outcome in your mind. Like entering the name of a missing document into your computer’s search engine, your mind, heart, and soul will search to discover your purpose. It may not come to you immediately, but it will come.

Jason C Steinle the host of The Steinle Show talk radio and television programs. He is a Doctor of Chiropractic and Director of Health and Harmony Chiropractic and Wellness Center in Evergreen, CO. Jason is also the author of Upload Experience: Quarterlife Solutions which is available at www.amazon.com and at www.uploadexperience.com